It was the furthest thing from a “generic” first date, Mr. Miller said. They felt comfortable being themselves around each other, skipping over the basic small talk. “It was just a real deep conversation,” he said.
They planned for a second date, but there was one complication: Ms. Rafson had a tight schedule the next week and was free only on Saturday evening — and that was the night of two N.F.L. playoff games. Mr. Miller, who described himself as a “pretty big football fan,” had a momentary internal debate before realizing the answer was clear: “I would rather see her again.” That Saturday, they went on their second date at Dutch Fred’s, another bar in Midtown. It turned out to be the right call.
“Honestly, after that second date, I was just like, I’m pretty sure I’m going to marry her,” he said.
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For Ms. Rafson, that realization came on the fourth date. They were talking, and out of left field, he made a reference to a song from the musical “1776,” one of Ms. Rafson’s childhood favorites. Growing up in New City, N.Y., she would watch the movie version of the musical every Fourth of July. Mr. Miller watched the movie in middle school.
“I was like, who is this unicorn of a man?” she said. “Everything about him is a delight, and he’s got a musical in his back pocket. That was it for me.”
They grew closer over the next few months, connecting over their shared sense of humor and passion for their work. She brought him to see theater. He taught her about the trucking and traffic issues in the city, such as congestion pricing, and converted her to a Mets and Jets fan. (Reflecting on the second date-versus-playoff-game dilemma, Ms. Rafson said: “I had no idea what he was sacrificing. Now I fully understand.”)