8.
“Sixth through eighth grade were absolutely miserable. I had been raised on military bases, where I had lots and lots of friends, but then my parents bought a small hobby farm so they could raise show-quality cattle, and everything changed. I had skipped 5th grade and dominated the school academically for the next 3 years, eventually graduating as valedictorian and knocking off the student who had been ranked first since kindergarten. Physically, though, I was far behind everyone else. I didn’t even get my period until my sophomore year, and I was still very immature compared to my classmates. On the other hand, I had been to Paris, London, and many other European capitals, and I was born just outside of Tokyo. Most of my classmates had never even left the country, let alone the state of California. There wasn’t a day that went by when I wasn’t severely bullied. I never fought back. Not once. The teachers and principals tried to intervene, but nothing seemed to work.”
“Emotionally, I became a depressed mess, especially because both my father and my older brother were serving in active combat zones in Vietnam. I became friends with all the unpopular kids and refused to bully anyone else just to move myself up the social ladder, so I became the target instead. Eventually, we reached high school, and things began to change. I started making friends again and became an award-winning debater. Two important things happened during our senior year. The first was when one of the guys who had bullied me the most approached me in the quad during lunch. He stopped me, and I stood there cautiously. ‘I’m sorry for how I treated you during middle school. I was a piece of dog crap.’ He looked genuinely miserable. ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Why did you lead the other boys against me?’ He told me, ‘My dad was in Vietnam too, but I was ashamed of him because of all the talk. But you? You were proud of your dad and brother for serving in an unpopular war. You never apologized for them. You told funny stories about exchanging reel-to-reel tapes with your dad and read letters to everyone from your brother, who was stationed on an aircraft carrier. Then you turned your valedictorian speech into a message about how horrible war is for everyone — the civilians, the soldiers, and their families. You managed to criticize the Vietnam War without attacking a single person who served in it. I resented you for that.’ When I asked why he was apologizing then, he explained that his AA sponsor had told him making amends was part of recovery. He had just turned 18 and was already struggling with alcoholism. I told him I wished him all the luck in the world and accepted his apology without reservation.”
—Anonymous, 67, Oregon, USA