Scott,
I need a second opinion on a years-long family dispute. My husband and I have three high schoolers who keep demanding to know our salaries. I’m all for teaching kids about money early, but we’ve always considered our earnings private – not something to share with friends or family. I also worry about the assumptions they’ll make: that salary equals lifestyle, or that our numbers will either discourage or mislead them when choosing careers. What’s your take? Should we tell our kids how much we earn?
Kathryn
Hi Kathryn,
Well, you can do what you want with your kids, but for me … it’s a HELL NO.
One day my eldest was noodling about on his calculator when he point blank asked me:
“Dad, you’ve sold three million books, right? How much does each copy sell for?”
I just stared at him.
“Not as much as you think, mate.”
Look, the problem with telling kids how much money you make is that they have zero context about how much it costs to live as a grown-up. Even for your teenagers, their financial frame of reference is $4 vapes and $14 an hour flipping burgers.
A hundred grand a year may as well be Scrooge McDuck swimming in your coin pool to them.
My view? It’s none of their business how much money you earn.
Yet what’s critical is that they watch you modelling good money behaviours.
How do you do that?
First, you give them context. Hand them their financial L-plates and let them sit in on bill paying and some spending decisions. Maybe put them in charge of monitoring the electricity bill and shopping around for a better deal.
It also means you don’t lie to them. If you’re wealthy, don’t say “I can’t afford that”. The kids will see right through it, especially if they see you spending money on other stuff.
Instead say, “I don’t want to spend my money on that”.
That sends a powerful message: you choose where your money goes, and it’s YOUR money, not theirs.
Having their own pocket money helps here. With my kids I explain that their Jam Jars are like my bank accounts – neither has an endless supply. If they really truly want something, they can do what you did: work hard, save up, and buy it themselves.
Finally, in terms of choosing their careers, I tell my kids all the time:
I’ve had a huge element of luck in my career. It’s not normal to sell so many books. There are plenty of more talented writers who haven’t been so lucky. However, they also know that I still turn up and enjoy my work even though most of the time I’m not getting paid. That’s how you know you’ve found the right career.
Your job isn’t to give them a salary target to aim for, it’s to help them find work that matters to them.
Scott