I took a deep breath and dialled my mother.
“Mum, it’s me. I need … your credit card details,” I said.
I was standing in a crowded Apple Store, where I’d been for the past three hours.
Tomorrow was my son’s 13th birthday, and I’d decided to get him an Apple Watch. Well, truthfully, I’d decided to buy myself a new Apple Watch, and he was getting my old hand-me-down. I was wearing his present.
Dad of the year.
The only problem was that to set up his kids’ account, I first had to verify I was his parent. And that required a credit card.
I don’t have one.
The blue-shirted Apple dude helping me thought it was the funniest thing ever. Then I called my mum, but he couldn’t stop giggling.
The shop was loud. It sounded exactly like a scam.
“Who is this?” she said suspiciously.
“It’s me,” I assured her.
“And why do you need my credit card details?” she snapped.
“Because I want to rip you off, Mum. I’m going to buy a one-way ticket to Greece.”
And then she hung up on me.
Fair enough.
When she called me back from her phone, she was still suspicious, but I gave her just enough grandmother guilt: if she didn’t help me, she’d ruin her grandson’s birthday.
She whispered out the numbers. I could hear the distrust in her voice, and my old man hovering in the background: “What’s this all about!?”
“And the three digits on the back?” I asked.
That almost broke her.
After all that, it turned out Mum had a debit card. The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Declined.
I looked at my son’s birthday present on my wrist: 10 minutes till the store closed.
There was no other choice. I had to bring out the big guns: my mother-in-law.
She has even fewer reasons to trust me than my mother.
My own mother hung up on me. My mother-in-law read out the numbers.
So, two things. First, if a loved one rings asking for money, hang up and call them back. My mother worked that out before I did. Second, have a family code word for when private things need to be asked over the phone.
Ours is Greece.
Tread Your Own Path!