Would I have liked to have had a child? Of course. But just because I don’t have any children doesn’t mean that I’m alone. My brother and stepsister have children and now grandchildren. They have been a huge part of my life. I’ve watched them grow, and we care deeply about each other. And I have a wonderful group of friends and a vibrant community.
I also have Romeo. I met him a few weeks after Steve passed. He’s an adorable mini goldendoodle, and he’s always by my side — literally, following me from room to room. He has brought me such joy in the midst of so much grief. He was Steve’s parting gift to me, and one more example of how even in the worst of times, he was always looking out for my happiness in whatever ways he could.
Yes, my mother was right — sort of. I would have loved to have had a child, but it wasn’t meant to be. I realize now she was just doing what she thought would be best for me. When she was near death, I told her the truth about Steve’s diagnosis. She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and whispered, “I understand.”
Even though my life turned out differently than what she expected — or I once desired — I’ve had a beautiful life. I got to spend 45 years with a man who truly loved me, and though I’m not a traditional mother, I’ve found ways to feel motherly love and be connected.
This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
Ann Gorewitz is a writer. Her debut memoir, You, Me, & The Dog: An Unconditional Love Story (Heliotrope Books), is now available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, iBooks, Kobo, Booktopia, and other eBook platforms. Ann can be contacted on Instagram @gorewitzann, Facebook @ann.gorewitz, and her website.
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