Hi Scott,
My adult son posed a hypothetical question the other day: what happens if someone dies and they have a huge gambling debt? Sadly this is the reality for many young men today. Is the debt something that needs to be paid out of the deceased person’s will? We are fortunate to not have this situation but he knows young men with babies who do! Thank you. We all love your books and columns and value your advice so much!
Sharron
Sharron,
Stop what you’re doing right now and go and find your son.
When the two of you are alone, I want you to ask him the following question without flinching:
“Have you ever thought about killing yourself?”
Don’t fill in the silence. Let him answer. Maintain eye contact.
The best case scenario is that I have completely overreacted, and everything is totally fine.
The worst case scenario is too heartbreaking, and too final, to walk back from.
Don’t mess around with hypothetical questions like this – treat it as a warning signal.
I’ve spoken to enough heartbroken parents who would give anything to have that awkward three-minute conversation.
Whatever he says, let him know that you are there to support him with anything he’s going through.
If he dismisses you, feel free to give him my details, and I will help him, confidentially, and free of charge.
Good luck.
One more thing:
If you’re reading this and thinking “bloody hell, that’s me” – stop suffering in silence. You don’t have to do this alone. Pick up the phone and call 1800 858 858. The people on the other end of that line have heard it all before. They won’t judge you. And they actually know how to help. It’s free, it’s confidential, and they’re there 24/7. Sometimes the hardest part is just making the call. My advice? Do it anyway.
Scott