How to use reverse psychology, hack the lazy part of your brain, and kick yourself into gear.
Let’s be brutally honest here.
You already know what you need to do to reach your goals – if not, you can find out quickly with the good ole’ Google.
Maybe you even know that building the right habits and discipline is key for long-term change.
Knowing is one thing, doing it is a different beast altogether.
We all slack off sometimes and kick the can down the road. And even though sustainable change and discipline are important, sometimes you just need a low-voltage taser in the butt.
Here are my best unconventional ways to find motivation when you need it.
“If more information was the answer, then we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs.”
– Derek Sivers
Shift Your Focus In A Way You’ve Never Done Before
We often approach tasks in a way that’s inherently demotivating.
Why?
Because we focus on costs rather than benefits.
Look at your calendar, your to-do list, and all the things you need to do that you’ve stored in your mind.
They’re called “do this, do that, check this, check that.”
No wonder you don’t want to “do a tax return.” You immediately think of all the forms you have to fill out, receipts you need to collect, and the dance battle with bureaucracy and your accountant.
What if you’d call it “get back tons of money?”
What if instead of “go to the gym” you said “get shredded and have a six-pack?”
What if you called “mowing the lawn and cleaning the house” “living in my personal paradise?”
Ask yourself how you can reframe your dreaded to-dos.
Focus on the benefits. You’ll still have to do the work, of course. But you’ll be a lot more motivated to make it happen.
How To Hack The Lazy Part Of Your Brain
Humans are inherently lazy.
Evolution hardwired us to conserve energy. It’s one of the reasons why we prefer instant rewards over future ones – we don’t have to waste time and energy waiting. Psychologists call this effect temporal discounting.
Unfortunately, this means we often don’t do things that would pay off nicely in the future.
Eating healthier, building a side hustle, regular reading… the list goes on. We know they’re the right thing to do, but we have no immediate payoff.
Over the last few weeks, I struggled to take walks during lunchtime and hit the gym in the afternoon.
I was stacked with a big project and any effort on top of it felt like being stuck in tar up to my hips.
What helped me was to connect immediate rewards with these things.
For my lunch break, I listened to some music while walking and allowed myself 20 minutes of video games once I came back.
For the gym, I took some sweets with me as a post-workout nutrition.
Both helped me step into gear a lot.
Make a list of all the small rewards you can give yourself – then connect them with the things that pay off in the long run.
The Simple Mindset Shift You Have To Make
Almost everyone has a massive misconception when it comes to reaching their goals.
What matters isn’t how much you want it – but what you’re willing to do for it.
When I got ready for my bodybuilding competition, I often didn’t feel like working out. I watched videos of donuts while eating dry chicken and rice. Many times, I cursed because it was so damn hard.
However, throughout every meal, every workout, and every gag-inducing protein shake, I remembered one thing:
“This is part of the job.”
When you face something unpleasant, you often subconsciously wish for things to be different.
That means you argue with reality.
Instead, eliminate these thoughts from your mind and accept reality as it is right now.
Once you accept that, you can motivate yourself to do it.
You can thrive in the fact that you’re doing what’s required and who you will become through it. You no longer waste your energy on doubting, complaining, and wishing.
You just do the job.
“Suffering is not objective. It depends largely on the way you perceive. There are things that cause you to suffer but do not cause others to suffer. There are things that bring you joy but do not bring others joy.” ― Hanh Nhat Thich
Do A Switcheroo With Reverse Psychology
I’m a rebel at heart.
When I was a kid, I never wanted to do what others told me. In a way, we’re all like that. If someone shows up demanding you do something, your first reaction is likely to introduce their left cheek to the back of your right hand (reverse if you’re left-handed.)
Psychologists call this trait reactance – it’s our human tendency to rebel against orders.
The most straightforward way to exploit this would be to tell yourself “You’re not allowed to go to the gym.”
Unfortunately, your brain isn’t stupid and will see through the bluff.
Instead, I’ve tried something else – I only allow myself a certain time to do something.
20 minutes for answering my emails. 60 minutes for cleaning the house. 90 minutes at the gym.
This does three things:
- First, you’ll want to see whether you can make it within the time limit.
- Second, it reduces the commitment because you won’t be stuck with the task any longer than you want to.
- Third, it creates scarcity, which makes it more valuable.
See which of these effects triggers you most and use it.
The Ultimate Motivation (Not For The Faint-Hearted)
This will make you uncomfortable, but it’s almost guaranteed to work every time.
Again, we’re going to use psychology here – something called the endowment effect. People place a higher value on something they already own rather than the same object without owning it.
In an experiment, participants wanted more money to sell a cup they owned than they were willing to pay for that same cup in the first place.
Here’s how you can use that.
- First, grab yourself a really good friend and tell them what you want to do.
- Then, give them an amount of money that would sting if you lost it.
- Last, tell them to not give it back to you until you’ve completed the thing.
Technically, it’s still your money, which means you value it even higher than face value due to the endowment effect. It hurts more to lose money you have than it is rewarding to earn money you don’t.
That’s why it’s so powerful and James Clear, author of the New York Times bestseller Atomic Habits, recommends this approach for adding extra motivation to your actions.
Commit and you’ll be motivated to make it happen.
Summary To Help You Find Motivation For What You Dread Doing
Everything you do is a battle between motivation and resistance.
If something’s unpleasant to do, you’ve got a lot of resistance – so you need high motivation to make it happen.
These five approaches will help you tap into it:
- Focus on benefits instead of costs.
- Give yourself small rewards until the big ones come in.
- View it as “part of the job” instead of something you can avoid.
- Use reverse psychology and limit how much time you can spend on it.
- Pay a friend money and only get it back after you’ve done the thing.
Motivation isn’t the end-all of your problems – but it’s a damn good place to start.