I wrote a post almost 10 years ago about money revelations in my 30s.
Here’s an updated version now that I’m approaching my mid-40s (dammit Father Time):
1. Lifestyle creep isn’t always bad. Yes, you need to live below your means, delay gratification and avoid overspending.
But I am not a fan of living like a pauper when you’re younger just so you can have more money when you’re older.
If you’re making more money over time you should be saving more but spending more too.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labor assuming you keep your savings rate relatively constant over time.
2. Debt is a tool. Personal finance experts hate debt. I don’t share that view. I’m not of the opinion that every big purchase in your life has to be made with cash.
Debt in and of itself is not bad. Debt is like a hammer. It can be used to both build and destroy.
The intelligent use of debt has brought far more flexibility to my financial life.
3. Investment performance is important but mildly overrated. I spent my 20s and 30s building up my tax-deferred retirement accounts and emergency fund.
Then I moved on to building up my taxable accounts. I was looking at the history of my brokerage balance this week and noticed there has been a big jump in the balance over the past five years or so.
The bull market in stocks and crypto has certainly helped but the biggest reason for the increase is the fact that I’ve been shoveling more money into this account.
Compounding does the bulk of the heavy lifting over the longer stretches but how much you save has a much bigger impact over shorter periods of time.
Returns matter but it doesn’t matter how good you are at investing if you don’t save in the first place.
4. Material possessions can be fun too. I am a fan of buying experiences. I know the psychology behind spending on material possessions. You buy stuff, the dopamine goes wild and then it wears off.
I get that.
And yet…
I find myself enjoying material possessions more and more as I age. I like buying clothes. I like buying shoes. I like buying stuff for our house.
It brings me joy! There I said it.
That joy might be fleeting but there are some material possessions that can provide lasting benefits.
Am I a bad personal finance person for liking stuff? Nah.
5. Kids are expensive but it gets better. I’ve always been a big planner when it comes to my finances. I’m rarely surprised about how much something costs.
The biggest financial shock of my life was the cost of daycare.
The hardest part is you don’t have time to prepare for it. I know kids will be expensive in the future. There are sports, camps, clothes, college, weddings, etc., but I can plan for that stuff.
You have 18 years to plan for college but no time to plan for daycare. We scrambled to save when we had twins on the way and knew three kids would be in daycare for a couple of years, but it wasn’t enough time.
Now that the kids are in public school and that part is over things are much easier from a planning perspective.
The daycare decision between spending an insane amount of money or the lost income from one parent not working is a very expensive decision without an easy answer.1
6. Money can’t buy everything but it can buy comfort. Money won’t fill every void you have in life but it can provide convenience, peace of mind and a little less stress in daily living.
Knowing we can meet all of our obligations is more important to me than hitting some specific net worth figure.
7. I’m in no hurry to pay off my mortgage. We made extra payments on our first house for several years after refinancing a few times.2 I wish those extra payments would have gone into the stock market instead.
That money did nothing for me sitting in our house.
Sure, it helps that we now have a 3% mortgage rate, but I get more peace of mind having more money in cash and stocks than in our house.
That’s personal preference but personal finance is personal.
8. The goalposts should be moving. My income, net worth, investment, and portfolio aims have changed over time.
I’ve moved the goalposts multiple times as I’ve aged. And that’s OK!
I like having something to strive for, even if it feels like the carrot on the stick is always out of reach.
You’re never going to have enough. You’re never going to be completely satisfied.
You still have to find some levels of contentment but it’s healthy to move the goalposts as goals change.
9. The questions build as you age. I work with a lot of terrific financial advisors. I find myself leaning on them more and more as I age and my financial situation becomes more complex.
Financial advice grows in importance the older you get and the more money you have.
10. The Joneses are ever-present. It’s impossible to avoid comparison these days when your friends, colleagues, peers and social media follows post only the good aspects of their lives online.
It’s never been harder to keep up with the Joneses because the Joneses are everywhere.
I fall prey to the thief of joy just like everyone else but have found gratitude helps you stay grounded.
Things could always be better but they could also be considerably worse.
Further Reading:
10 Money Revelations in My 30s
1The parents who have family that help with daycare are very lucky but that’s a tricky situation too because it’s a big ask.
2When we bought our first house in 2007 mortgage rates were well over 6%.