“Jeez, mate … what the hell happened to you?” I said to Benny, an old farmhand I once employed.
He’d shed so much weight since I last saw him that he looked like he’d been kidnapped by a pack of Pilates instructors.
“You been getting the Hollywood Shot?”
Blank stare.
“You know … Ozempic?”
More silence.
He shrugged. “Nah, mate. I just don’t eat after 5pm.”
“That’s it?”
“Yep. I used to binge on crap and drink too much at night. So I made that rule. And I’ve stuck to it for the best part of a year”, he told me.
Winner, winner, (no) chicken dinner!
Now Benny has unintentionally stumbled upon something pretty profound: the power of personal rules. A simple, clear-cut rule can short-circuit the endless decision-making process and make life easier.
This is exactly the thinking behind the mega-bestseller Atomic Habits by James Clear. His philosophy is simple: instead of focusing on goals, focus on your identity. “Every action is a vote for the type of person you want to become”, he says. And the best way to cast those votes? By making your habits automatic.
For years I’ve applied this thinking to money. I don’t rely on willpower – instead I’ve created my own Money Rules. These are automatic, non-negotiable rules that keep our finances (and my sanity) in check.
Let me share a couple with you:
We (still) go on a Date Night on the first Tuesday of every month
Yes, the same day as the Reserve Bank meeting (super romantic). But, despite having four kids under 11 and a life that’s a total shemozzle, we make it happen. Every action is a vote for the type of relationship we want, and a monthly Date Night is a vote that we’re connected, committed, and eating food that hasn’t been touched by tiny fingers.
We buy shares every month
On the day after our Date Night, I buy shares (index funds of course). Some months it’s a lot, some months it’s a little. The point? I’m an investor, so I invest. I don’t try to time the market. I just stick to the habit.
We give every month
Giving isn’t just about charity – it’s about breaking the chains of materialism, feeling grateful, and ensuring our kids don’t grow up to become contestants on MAFS. Talking about giving is as normal in our family as talking about spending.
We can spend $400 without asking each other
Liz and I famously share the same bank account. That can at first sound kind of creepy, but we do it because it forces us to have chats about money (like when Liz is at the hairdresser and suddenly realises there’s not enough in the account). We’ve set a $400 no-questions-asked spending limit. Anything over that, we chat about on Date Night. It works for us, but let’s be clear – joint accounts aren’t for everyone, especially in abusive relationships.
We don’t stress over omelettes
Even after nailing all the Barefoot Steps, I can still catch myself sweating the small stuff – like spending two hours researching a $45 omelette-maker, or spiralling into a pit of despair from copping an excess baggage fee on good old ‘Onestar’. So, I created a ‘forget about it number’: if it’s under $100, I let it go. My time and sanity are worth more than a few bucks, and yours probably are too.
Benny, my old farmhand gets it: one simple rule changed his life. No fancy diet apps, no expensive medication – he made a decision once, and then let his rules do the rest.
Now it’s your turn.
On your next Date Night, create your own Money Rules. What spending makes you happy? What decisions do you want to make automatically? What would make your daily life easier?
Remember, you become what you repeatedly do. Your rules, your identity.
Tread Your Own Path!