Every week, we round up the best 140-character quips and insights from our esteemed blogging team — and other equally awesome teen tweeters. Scroll down to read the latest batch and share your own suggestions by following @HuffPostTeen!
This week’s tweets have been compiled by Allison Lantagne, a 16-year-old who spends way too much time on Twitter. At least now she has something to show for it.
I don’t even know why I care. I don’t even like football.
— Leo Sheng (@iLeoSheng) August 30, 2014
I just now realized that Taylor Swift’s friendship with Lorde LITERALLY makes the duo LORDE AND TAYLOR. LIKE THE STORE.
— Neel Swamy (@neel_swamy) August 30, 2014
I might get dress coded today, I’m so excited
— Kylie (@kylieeemarcotte) September 4, 2014
When a communication app feels the need to email you, doesn’t that argue against its own point?
— Keough Novak (@KeoNovak) August 31, 2014
why on earth would you accuse a random passerby of a fake smile like excuse me let me just fake slap you
— justina sharp (@bentpieceofwire) September 4, 2014
I don’t care if it’s 2pm, I’m napping.
— Morgan Hegarty (@PotatoesHegarty) September 1, 2014
RT for a follow! Not a twitter follow like I will legitimately follow you everywhere you go
— Eden, Fryer of Men (@erf_erferferf) September 4, 2014
If you don’t wear the softest clothes in your wardrobe to the airport you are doing it wrong.
— Morgan Levy (@morganslevy) August 31, 2014
Someone just told me their mom owns the same shorts I was wearing today so that’s really cool
— Kami Baker (@thekamrinbaker) September 2, 2014
My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got good morals, a bright future and can make me laugh a lot
— Celeste (@celesteyim) September 3, 2014
Never has a Wednesday felt so Monday.
— Katie Atkinson (@Katie_Atk) September 3, 2014
Colleges apps: Explain your whole life in 400 characters.
Me: I CAN’T EVEN MEET TWITTER’S CHARACTER LIMIT 99% OF THE TIME ARE YOU KIDDING ME
— Isabel Song (@IsabelSong5000) September 2, 2014
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how Taylor Swift-y is my Common App essay?”
— Nathan Blansett (@natedeuxieme) September 2, 2014
Some kid just climbed a tree to sit in it instead of sitting on a bench. #college
— Laur ⚯͛ (@laurensofar) September 3, 2014
Went to the bookstore for a dictionary. Came out with a sweatshirt, coffee mug, and Wesleyan branded sticky-notes. God bless.
— Jackson Barnett (@jacksonbarnett) September 3, 2014
I want a dog translator so I can be sure he understands when I say I love you
— can i pat ur dog (@cntrxpy) September 3, 2014
It’s like an hour and a half past my bed time (aka it’s 9pm) so peace out
— sam goodyear (@sammygoodz) September 5, 2014
Originally published at Huffington Post Comedy